It will have taken roughly 2 hours to complete this post I reckon, seeing as though I just started and I will have erased a lot of my words because I can't begin to bring my feelings any justice by what I say.
It is currently 11:58 PM so forgive me if this doesn't make any sense.
I just can't begin to comprehend how much of a friend you are to me.
You are one of the few people who ever wanted to talk to me and just that made me feel special, but you just kept showing further kindness.
Every time I was feeling really down or whenever I was feeling bored you would courteously chat to me. You would show concern to my problems, smile or laugh at my stupid humour, spend time with me when I felt left out.
One thing I've noticed with people is that they look at who they are with a negative light, and don't give themselves anywhere near enough credit as they deserve.
I've listened to some of the things you said you were never good at; public speaking being one of them. I've always been that guy who sort of keeps an eye on things from a distance and doesn't give feedback to anybody, but I'm here to let you know I am proud of you and how much growth I have seen in you; especially when it comes to public speaking. You are a real, genuine person and no matter how good/bad you are at speaking it shows itself through your emotion. Not only do you give people details or words, you give them a feeling of what you say, and believe me I haven't seen that many times from anybody else. Anyway, the gist of what I'm saying is that you are really good a speaking in front of crowds or speaking in general, I can see you do it.
You are a strong person with a big future ahead of them.
I understand you have gone through a lot of pain in your life, especially in mid high-school times. You've made many hard, unpopular decisions which have lead to much pain in relationships with some people. If you can responsibly deal with those tough situations in life you can brave so much more.
You are strong.
Your best friend knows this more than I ever would.
May I reiterate that you are extremely blessed to have such a friendship, or should I say "sister-ship" with a girl who loves who so much and who has never left you.
I so wish I could have that. A friend who has been there all of my life.
That's another way you both have inspired me. A pair of women who love the Lord with all their hearts. That sort of friendship that is sewn together by the love of Christ. It honestly makes me envious at times, but more often makes me happy for you. I feel proud to know people like you two.
But how you could ever separate that relationship is ridiculous. I'm not saying that it was a bad decision to move away, but a ridiculously brave one. Even though I've never had that sort of relationship with somebody I understand how empty and lonely you feel. It makes me sadder than anything else.
When you left that day I was so sad. *massive understatement*. But a majority of myself cried because I understood how painful it was to leave a best friend such as Cassie. Don't think I won't miss you, I wept like a baby after you left, I miss you. So much. I just hated seeing that separation, knowing how much you love each other.
It is currently 12:58 AM so I am feeling ridiculously tired.
Keep smiling. Pretty please?
That was one reason I love being your friend.
You have the happiest smile I have ever seen. Really.
I loved making you laugh, not just to get feedback for myself, but I loved to see you smile.
Creepy...? I hope not :S
But your upbeat attitude and expression is rather infectious.
I loved spending time with you.
That time is very valuable to me, and I will never forget it.
Especially when we hung out all the time in 2009-2010.
I still have all the photos that were taken on my camera and I love them.
Another thing...
I really admire your heart for people in poverty. When you shared about your time in Vietnam on Summer Camp I cried hardcore. You have such a heart for missions and seeing people come to Christ internationally.
I remember one day after school in 2009 or 2010 when we both walked up a street and talked. You were the first person to help me understand that life isn't supposed to be a constant cycle. How you wanted to travel and make a difference in peoples lives by witnessing Christ.
You are so wise 'n' stuff. Especially from somebody who was 15 at the time.
I was so happy when I found out you were coming to the Philippines. I was very blessed to be able to spend that time with you overseas. I will never forget it and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I just really loved spending time with you.
I loved all of our little inside jokes while we were there.
"I'm hungry for babes."
"I just can't get babes off my mind."
"My babes are so hot they are melting."
One thing I didn't enjoy though was "spon-sanni"... IN MY MOUTH.
The worst taste in the world. It was documented on photos.
I have so many photos and videos of the time we spent together over the last several years.
I love them.
When I look at the woman of God you are, I am glad in knowing that you would never turn away from God for any reason. I know it. I've seen it. You've been through lots of pain before, but God was your victory.
After seeing many people leaving Christ for themselves, I felt worried for so many people. I rejoice in knowing you wouldn't give up God for anything in this world.
You inspire me in so many ways, Steph.
Especially spiritually.
"Steph. A woman after God's own heart."
Yeah. That sounds good :D
Keep trusting Jesus. I MEAN it.
Gosh, I miss you.
The tears in my eyes right now are either from being tired, or actually missing you incredibly much.
I think it's a bit of both.
Please visit me soon. (or vice versa) :)
I better finish up by saying I loved the time we had together. I loved talking to you.
You are an amazing, inspiring, beautiful person.
You are somebody who has makes me feel accepted and respected.
I feel special for having a friend like you.
It won't be the same without you here.
I love you, Steph.
I miss you.
Good bye. (for now)
God bless you. (always)
Love Tom.
P.S.
I will NEVER forget you.
P.P.S.
This took 5 hours. Haha. :P
