Fool's Gold.

I miss this.
Talking about utter nonsense and a life with Jesus.
(Two separate catergories)
I should be studying.
I have a 1,800 word assessment due by 5pm tomorrow. It's currently 9:15pm.
You may or may not have noticed, but I haven't submitted a blog in a few months. I've felt a little discouraged in my walk with Jesus. I've made idols. Messed up. Become slave to the toys and materialistic jargon of the world. All the while I've been a good little church boy. Where did my passion escape to? I ask myself at various stages of life, every now and then, "I am I sure I have a real, rock-solid relationship with Jesus?" I am completely aware of what's going on, yet I do nothing about it. It's like my spirit is the audience in the downfall of my faith. Sounds like strong words doesn't it? They are. Nevertheless, it is true. I've been living for the desires of my flesh. Where am I with Jesus? I don't know. I am lost on an island of confusion and regret. Help me, Jesus. I will conquer.
I feel like I'm adjourning to the wide path, or, I've already stepped on it.
I know what happened too. I was worried about how a person, whom I hardly know, thought about me and my walk with Jesus. I was trying to make them impressed, make them like what they saw. From there my motives changed. My identity was in who they called me. I still don't know what they think. I am glad.
I didn't ask them about it. How cool and Christianly does that sound? Not very. Now, I'm stuck in this arena of dismay, where there is a battle between me and my ego.
I thought I had a REAL relationship with Christ? I did. I do still.
I'm stuck in this arena of laziness and self deceitment. Procrastination. Procrastinating my own relationship with God? I never used to be like this. Like I said in my testimony. I reached out to God with EV-ERY-THING. Not just a tiny portion of my heart, but with all of it. I was in need. Am I not anymore? Am I over God? Over meaning? Over purpose? Have I found my foundation, my identity in what the world calls me? I used to be so much smarter! I knew abundantly more about scripture when I was younger. It brings me to tears knowing that I've forgotten (more likely confused) some of the key aspects of God's character.
I'm now a slave. To the internet. To technology, period. If it comes to it, I will have to be rid of my laptop.
I've heard it said, "The change starts now." I've seen people, some of my own brothers and sisters in Christ become annoyed, and even frustrated at that line. "The change has already started!" They tell themselves bluntly, over and over. They are confused. If only the understood.
That should be a line that we should say and commit to more often. Are we satisfied with who we are? More importantly, are we pleasing God? Are we settling for who we are now? Building foundation and fort in a place that was meant for temporary accommodation?
Go further, I ask. No, I PLEAD. Go further, don't listen to that voice in your head telling you you're pathetic and you should stop. I listened. That was a bad choice. People say to people like me, "walk the talk", I say, "don't do what I did." It will take time.
I sometimes settle for okay. It disappoints me that I do. I weep at my own actions to the moon, then when the sun rises, I'm exactly the person I hate.
I could sound that I'm being hard on myself. But frankly, I'm just not satisfied. Brothers and sisters in Christ, journey further, jump higher, run faster.
I understand now, "The change starts here", it does. For me. And for you? I don't know. It all starts with prayer. But I can't do this on my own.
Challenge your reasoning.
Talk about what nobody else wants to talk about. Be the ice-breaker.
There is so much on my mind right now.
 If you're reading this, I probably love you. Even if I hardly know you. I do. I can't help it, sorry.
 I just had a fantastic talk with my family. Unless, you're unaware, I do not get along well with them. It wasn't the "Oh, I love you forever" type of talk, but the "Wake up, and get your butt into gear" type.
It was very enlightening. I am lazy. I don't do much around the house.
I hate being lazy. It hurts to see myself being lazy.
The change starts here. Through the strength and determination that Christ gives me. Not myself.

I must cry my heart out, seek forgiveness, desire change and transformation, long for God's calling.

"Like the prospector finding fulfillment in fool's gold, the sinner finds fulfillment in the desires of their flesh."

God bless you. I pray you understand me, and I pray you can overcome the barriers stopping you from connecting with Christ.

If you have anything that you'd like to say; critique, advice, thanks whatever.
Please comment.

"When all I want, meets all I need."

"People want the truth, but never want the scars." After the Devil Beats his Wife - Emery

"When the world is falling down from under me, I'll be found in You, still standing." Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser

"Don't excuse yourself from life today on the pretense of your past." Existence - August Burns Red

"You've opened my eyes, so I can see You're all around me." Light Up the Sky - The Afters

"Oh, God be my everything, be my delight. Be, Jesus my glory, my soul satisfied" Be Thou My Vision - Ascend the Hill

"Everyone here can be sure of one thing, we're all in need." Hearts Open - Ivoryline

"The final time I close eyes, I will open them in paradise." Made From Dust - Ivoryline

"You are worth more than riches or gold to me." To the Service - I Am Terrified

"God above kings and queens, every idol will bend and break." Rise - Hillsong

"Doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs." Ode To Chin - Switchfoot

Post any more in the comments :)

All three subscribers I have.

100 + 100 = 100...?

Jesus was 100% God and 100% man.
That hurts.
How can that be possible?
You can't be 200% anything.
Well... it hurts to think about this apparent "contradiction" doesn't it?
But the good news is I know how to solve it!
The answer is... Just don't think about it!
As humans, we are limited in knowledge, so trying to wrap our head around this is pain.
Same thing with the Trinity too.
Here's a Bible verse from Phillippians 2:5-8

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, 
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing 
by taking the very nature of a servant, 
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, 
he humbled himself 
by becoming obedient to death - even death on a cross." 


Anyway... the point I'm trying to make is that lots of Christians usually forget about the 100% man part.
Jesus was like us.
He had a sense of humour.
He sneezed (just imagine that)
He went through everything we did.
Yet He was perfect.

Watch this if you can be bothered!

Blessings-a-many.

We meet again... for the last time.

Not really the last time...

Just getting your attention is all.

Ramble-fest?

Of course....

You know me too well ;)

Well, not really.

The only thing you should be worried about now is...

So I left my computer for 20 minutes and I forgot what I was gonna say.

I'm applying for a job today.

Mum will throw a ferret at me if I don't get one eventually.

Something I enjoy is thinking about God.

I don't wanna sound super spiritual about it either.

I am only a leaf in the wind.

And God caught me.

Blessings-a-many! :3